Tag Archives: Negativity

Blocking Toxins

I did something last night that I never thought I’d have to do. I blocked a cousin on Facebook because he seems to be a hater.

He’s a far right leaning republican and I’m a left of center democrat. Normally that is not a problem for me. I have friends like him and they provide well thought out opposing opinions. I  respect their opinions because they share them civilly.

My cousin could not do that. Some quotes (in response to this article I shared):

dems want to live in tiny houses in the city with cameras on every corner so big daddy government can watch over them and keep them safe, as well as ride bicycles and drive prius…and pretend to be green….

everyone else wants to live on their own with land for gardens, hunting, and at least some resemblance of looking out for themselves and the ability to live off the land if need be w/o big daddy government taking half their paycheck to support lazy city dwellers

He probably thinks I blocked him because I disagree with him. I know the truth, though.  I blocked him because I think he is just a negative person who I don’t want to interact with.

Anti-Therapy is Alive – Unfortunately

I’ve heard that there are people out there who are anti-therapy, but have never encountered any.  I’ve met people who have concerns with therapy but are not truly anti-therapy.

Last week I came across this site and have been thinking about it since.  Particularly #5 and #6.  I was shocked.

Mistake 5. Going to a mental health therapist or psychologist.

She says “Don’t have — and don’t make claims of having — any kind of emotional disability, disorder, anxiety, depression, inability to cope, or other dysfunction, if you can possibly avoid doing so.”  A little later in the paragraph she says “If you absolutely, positively must vent [do so] … only if you’re truly dangerously dysfunctional — then do not tell anyone you are going, pay cash, don’t get or fill prescriptions where any record of that can be discovered…”

I call that bottling up the negative feelings, burying them, and building resentments – which to me is dysfunctional.  That leads to this type of therapy session.

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If anyone believes I’ve made a poor choice in going to therapy, so be it.  I’m certain it will not be held against me during my divorce.  We have “family therapy” every other Saturday and it has helped us tremendously as a “family.”  Just not as a “couple.”

Mistake 6. Taking the children to a therapist.

That brings me to #6.  Here she says “Fix the situation; don’t try to train children to cope with it. If children are having problems, then it’s far more likely than not that it’s the adults around them who are doing something wrong.”

Anti-coping?  Don’t learn to cope with crappy situations?  Really?

I guess I have it all wrong.  My youngest son has Asperger’s and has been seeing a therapist for 5 years.  We currently have his therapy set up as “family” therapy and have had great success. He also has a school based social worker and has participated in school based social skills therapy groups.

My oldest son has a lot of stress related issues because of his brother and his own perfectionism and periodically sees a therapist.  His therapist helped him in accepting adult authority, even though he didn’t agree with the adult (perfectionism).  She also helped him with accepting things that he cannot control and working towards changing things that he can control.  He just started seeing her again so that he could talk about his feelings about our divorce (or whatever else he decides to discuss).