Tag Archives: Mental Health

Just keep swimming.

In response to Daily Prompt Silver Screen.ellen-dory-finding-nemo-2__oPt

I love Dori from Finding Nemo.  She’s very smart in many ways, especially emotionally.  Life got you down?  What do you do?

Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim.

Anti-Therapy is Alive – Unfortunately

I’ve heard that there are people out there who are anti-therapy, but have never encountered any.  I’ve met people who have concerns with therapy but are not truly anti-therapy.

Last week I came across this site and have been thinking about it since.  Particularly #5 and #6.  I was shocked.

Mistake 5. Going to a mental health therapist or psychologist.

She says “Don’t have — and don’t make claims of having — any kind of emotional disability, disorder, anxiety, depression, inability to cope, or other dysfunction, if you can possibly avoid doing so.”  A little later in the paragraph she says “If you absolutely, positively must vent [do so] … only if you’re truly dangerously dysfunctional — then do not tell anyone you are going, pay cash, don’t get or fill prescriptions where any record of that can be discovered…”

I call that bottling up the negative feelings, burying them, and building resentments – which to me is dysfunctional.  That leads to this type of therapy session.

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If anyone believes I’ve made a poor choice in going to therapy, so be it.  I’m certain it will not be held against me during my divorce.  We have “family therapy” every other Saturday and it has helped us tremendously as a “family.”  Just not as a “couple.”

Mistake 6. Taking the children to a therapist.

That brings me to #6.  Here she says “Fix the situation; don’t try to train children to cope with it. If children are having problems, then it’s far more likely than not that it’s the adults around them who are doing something wrong.”

Anti-coping?  Don’t learn to cope with crappy situations?  Really?

I guess I have it all wrong.  My youngest son has Asperger’s and has been seeing a therapist for 5 years.  We currently have his therapy set up as “family” therapy and have had great success. He also has a school based social worker and has participated in school based social skills therapy groups.

My oldest son has a lot of stress related issues because of his brother and his own perfectionism and periodically sees a therapist.  His therapist helped him in accepting adult authority, even though he didn’t agree with the adult (perfectionism).  She also helped him with accepting things that he cannot control and working towards changing things that he can control.  He just started seeing her again so that he could talk about his feelings about our divorce (or whatever else he decides to discuss).

All Right?

In response to Easy Fix.

Let’s face it, most things that are worth it in life are NOT easily fixed.  This is particularly true when it is regarding development of our own mental health.

I’ve became aware that I was not emotionally well about 5 or 6 years ago.  I think I had not been happy for several years before that.  It was quickly moving to the point where it was no longer a matter of “not being happy” – but “being depressed.”  That was the first step, recognizing that I wasn’t well.

It has been a long journey and I’m going to be on it for the rest of my life.  Some of the things I’ve learned

  • Gratitude and thankfulness go a long way towards improving mental health.  I don’t keep a journal about this, because I’m not that routine.  But I do think about it on nearly a daily basis.
  • When I find my mind slipping towards the negative, I try to find the positive in a situation.  Instead of, “Oh no, school called again about my son being in melt down mode.”  I try to turn it around and think “Wow, it has been almost 2 months since I got a call like this.”
  • Building a network of supporters is critical and an area that I am just now working on improving for myself.  I am one of those women who gave up self to focus on kids and husband (in that order).  I have no close friends and only a handful of acquaintances.  I have joined a group of ladies who meet 2 or 3 times a month, one time dedicated to bunco.  I also have no hobbies, but am working on becoming more involved with photography.
  • Being true to oneself is also critical.  I am learning to set boundaries and stick to them.  I am learning to speak my thoughts in a kind way instead of burying them in fear of causing conflict.

But ultimately, And all was will be right in the world.