Tag Archives: Lonely

Lonely

In response to Daily Prompt Cut Off.

When was the last time you felt really, truly lonely?

This is a frequent problem for me.

By the way, Psych Central has a quiz where you can answer questions and be rated on how lonely you are.  Find the quiz here.  I scored 27, a few points outside of the loneliest category.  And here is a very interesting article about how loneliness is killing us.  I know that I am not unusual, this is pretty common.

Impacts On My Loneliness

  • I work at a computer all day, on individual work that does not involve much input from others.
  • When I meet with team mates, it is on the phone and WebEx because we are geographically diverse.
  • Meetings are pretty cut & dry – get to the point and end the meeting.
  • Very little room for pleasantries and sometimes it feels fake or rushed.
  • When I am at the office, I have conversations with only two people regularly because the rest of the group is separated by an aisle of cabinets.  I can still hear them having casual conversation, but it is difficult to join in and it enhances my loneliness.
  • It isn’t easy because it is hard to communicate over the wall of cabinets and I feel silly running around to the center aisle where the bulk of people are located.
  • My husband is divorcing me because we grew apart and he no longer wants to try to grow back together.
  • I neglected friendships in the name of marriage and child rearing.
  • American society moves too fast, especially Corporate American society, to be able to stop and engage in meaningful conversation with those around us.  We’re too busy thinking about or moving on to our next conquest.

How I Try to Fight Back

  • In November or December I joined a very active meetup group for women age 30 and above.  I try to go to at LEAST two events per month.
  • I make an effort to join in on conversations with other people in the office, particularly if I sense that it is a group of people chatting.
  • I cherish any social activity with the two people who sit on either side of my cubicle, even though sometimes I think I’d rather be left alone or sometimes that I’m bothering them.
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Sharing the Inconsequential Moments

One of the hardest things about going through this divorce is the process of withdrawing from sharing my daily miniscule happenings with my soon to be ex.

I want to text him and tell him about the damn ladybug that landed in my drink. I want to send him a link to the video that made me think about him. I want to tell him about one of the silly things the dog did. And a variety of other small things.

But I don’t, because that is not where our relationship is heading. So who do I share those thoughts with?