Tag Archives: Judging

Parent Judgement

This is a Melt down.

Did the adult in this situation, based on limited data available to the casual observer, make good parenting choices? Maybe not.

I  would like people to consider that they do not have all of the facts and that it is likely unfair to judge. I  say this coming from experience with a kid like this. I’ve experienced major melt downs. Ones where I feared for the safety of anyone near my kid. One where I felt the safest choice was to call for police assistance.  More than one where I felt helpless and could only cry. Many, especially in the early days, where I made poor parenting choices. Many where I’m sure someone judged me poorly.

My only point is that we have a very brief glimpse into this family’s lives. Please don’t judge.

Judging Others

We all do it. Some more than others. Some admit it. Some don’t.

I used to be judgemental specifically of parents. Particularly before I had kids. See, it is easy to judge harshly when you have no experience or appreciation for what you are judging. Standards can be ridiculously high. Especially when you are young.

I have learned a lot since having my own kids. Number one being that I don’t have all the facts, only those I observe, and those can be misinterpreted.

I have had so many parenting moments where I could be judged negatively. Some would be deserved but many others would not. Some examples:

РI once had a toddler immediately run like a madman the moment we entered a department store.  I was livid, mainly as a reaction to the fear I felt.
– I have been seen spanking and yelling at my kids in public. Yes, deserved judgement. But thankfully there was no interference from people around me. I am better able to cope with my anger and frustrations now.
– I once had to call 911 for assistance with my 8 year old special needs kid. Unfortunately it was at a busy gas station with a Greyhound bus stop. Those people got a good show of the crazy mom trying to contain her out of control child. And I bet more than a few judged me poorly. NOT deserved. Thankfully we got very understanding police officers to help.
– My kids had recurring ear infections when they were babies. A neighbor lady (who is NOT a mom and never will be) boldly stated that she could have my first cured of ear infections in a week. Ummm, yea. Not deserved. I never told her that we ultimately took both for tubes at the tender age of 13-14 months.

I find that I am so much more understanding of others now, especially other parents.