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Hmmm – What to Call This??? Growth!

I’ve changed a LOT since 2012 and I think that it is for the better. I’ve had a lot of personal / emotional growth and I can tell when I read old journal entries. Here’s a few concepts where I have changed my position:

  • When my ex and I started admitting that we had a broken relationship I told him that I would “take better care of him.”

    I now realize that I was taking too much responsibility for his happiness / unhappiness. I’m not in charge of anyone else’s happiness. I’m in charge of my own happiness. I know that now, but it was a very difficult lesson to learn. I believe it is because I am a “giver.” I felt like if someone was struggling, I needed to give. And if they were still struggling – I needed to give MORE. And if it didn’t work – there must be something wrong with me.

  • I had the attitude that ANYthing can be fixed.

    Since some people (who suffered similar problems as my ex and I) came through it stronger on the other side, I figured we should be able to do that too. I was not accounting for the vast number of variables that made our situation different from the ones who DID make it through stronger. Add to this, several books and web sites I read basically accused couples of lack of effort if they didn’t make it through with the marriage intact. I’ve learned that sometimes the best way to fix a broken relationship is to simply let go and that there is nothing wrong with that.

  • I used to analyze my way out of trusting my instincts.

    I have pretty good instincts, actually. I can sense when someone is tense or uncomfortable. I can sense when I’m feeling uncomfortable. I might not figure out what is causing it immediately, but I can reflect for a bit and determine the source of my discomfort. And I can usually tell when something seems “fishy.” But I also suffered from low self confidence, so didn’t trust my instincts. I have learned to key in on my body signals that tell me that something is wrong and act accordingly.

  • I used to rely heavily on advice from others, even if it felt wrong to me.

    This is very related to trusting my instincts, but with a twist of asking advice from others. People mean well, but if I had listened to friends – I would be missing out on a great relationship with a man I care deeply about. I believe it is because too many people play “games” or manipulate people instead of just being honest about their feelings. My friends were giving advise based on that fact, and hinting that I should just give up on him. I sensed that this man was not playing games with me and I never really gave up on him. Ok, there was that one time that I went for about 3 or 4 weeks dating someone else, all the while thinking of my guy, but we eventually reconnected. I am happy about that.

Hurting People Hurts Me

I had to hurt someone’s feelings today and I don’t like it one bit. Not ONE bit, I say. I feel like a jackass.

I met a guy online a few days ago and had a good connection with him while texting. We set up a lunch date today and he tried to cancel at the last minute this morning. The way he did it gave me the impression that he is not confident – actually quite the opposite of confident. Other things he’s said in texting for the past few days supported this idea.

We did meet for lunch today. He was a very sweet, kind and seemingly a romantic type of guy, but the lack of confidence came across strongly. He also has a very serious medical condition that has no cure and can only get worse over time. He has Parkinson’s.

His low self confidence is my primary motivator for telling him I didn’t want to see him again. I don’t want to need to be the person to build him up. He needs to do that on his own while the love of his life supports him. She can’t be the foundation though.

I believe this is especially true for a person with a serious medical condition.


These are the things I’m accused of recently for sharing opposing political views (I’m a liberal centrist by nature, but I lean further to the left when up against extreme conservatives):

  • Wanting big daddy government to watch over me and keep me safe.
  • Being lazy.
  • Being “part of the problem” because I support refugee relocation, within reason. Background checks from multiple US agencies before they step foot on US soil.
  • Being a crybaby because I lean left – even when the person saying it has no idea how far left I lean.
  • Not doing my research. I read a variety of sites, some of which are biased but most of which are more towards the center. The biased ones are funny to me, so I post memes from them.
  • Being unpatriotic.

Atheist Fact for the Day: We Give

Some conservative religious organizations would like everyone to believe that they are the only charitable people and that charitable giving would dramatically decline if religion falls. Simply not true. Heck, this site would have you believe that atheists do not understand love. Ummm, yeah.

Ok, I’m showing my irritation and I need to get back on track.

Foundation Beyond Belief

On the Foundation Beyond Belief About page, you will learn that their Humanist Giving program selects five charitable organizations based on “impact and efficiency, our featured beneficiaries are secular organizations with the exception of Challenge the Gap, which features non-proselytizing organizations based in other worldviews.”

Foundation Beyond Belief has three other categories, including Beyond Belief Network, Humanist Disaster Recovery Network, and Humanist Service Corps.

Richard Dawkins Foundation

On the About Us Page, you will learn that the primary focus of the foundation is to eliminate the negative impact of religious influence on science education. In order to do this, the foundation partners with other secular organizations to:

  • Encourage and support non-believers to be openly secular.
  • Eliminate discrimination against non-believers.
  • Provide educational support for middle school teachers on the topic of evolution.
  • Raise disaster relief funds from secular communities.
  • Provide support for clergy who no longer hold supernatural beliefs.