I’ve been talking with my new guy about my relationship with my ex – the way it was that led us to divorce – and that prompted me to go back through my journal. My journal is basically a collection of posts from my CafeMom days and older blogs – most of which were never publicized.
I found an entry regarding Emotional Connection, which is something that my ex and I tried to improve. I wrote:
I want to be able to go to my husband and receive understanding, not get problem solving. It is OK to get some problem solving, but AFTER receiving some sympathy and understanding. When something is on my mind (good or bad), I want to be able to talk to him about it and have him interact with me.
Emotional connection to me is being able to share my feelings in the hopes that I will be understood. It is very different from asking for advice or help, but may lead to talking about what to do in a situation. I need to stress that I would need be the one to lead the conversation in that direction. My primary focus is to be heard and understood.