In response to Daily Prompt Weaving the Threads.
Anita and Derek have been having problems in their relationship. Each feels that the other isn’t listening. Each feels like communication is the process of being accused of wrong doing to the other.
Charley is a defensive pre-teen. Every time his parents try to communicate with him, he defends himself; even though the parents feel there is nothing to defend against. His parents cannot figure out why he is always so defensive.
Chelby and Jay are enjoying their relationship more than they have since they met 30 years ago. Chelby suggested that they go to a workshop on effective communication. In this workshop they learned how to communicate in a manner that allows each person to own their own feelings and state them without putting the other person on the defensive. They learned that phrasing how they are feeling about a situation is key in avoiding putting the other person on the defensive. For example, would you respond better to #1 or #2?
- Why do you always leave food wrappers and containers all over the kitchen when it is your turn to cook? You’re such a slob.
- When you leave food wrappers all over after you cook I end up cleaning them up and that makes me feel like I’m being taken advantage of.