I’m in a funk. No motivation. Some anger. Some frustration. Some fear. All on top of a bad night of sleep.
Some divorce prep accomplishments (that aren’t bringing me out of my funk):
- I used my brand spankin’ new “All My Own” credit card to pay for my lunch today.
- I set up my new checking and savings account and got my own new version of Quicken.
- I requested a small loan against my 401K to pay off my car so that it is easier to transfer solely to me.
- I steam cleaned the living room and moved some boxes to the attic to prep the house for sale.
Some things that are bothering me:
- It is very bizarre at home. When people are divorcing you’d expect tension, hurt feelings, arguing or SOMEthing. But if an outsider were to look in on us they would likely think we were a regular / average family – not one that is getting ready to pull the plug.
- Nothing seems to get done if I don’t do it. There are 2 ceiling fans that need to be replaced. There are 3 or 4 old broken monitors that need to be gotten rid of. There’s an extra television that needs to go to the attic. There’s several large items that need to be scheduled for a special trash pick up. There’s a BUNCH of husband specific hobby things cluttering the formal living room. But nothing gets done with that stuff unless I do it.
- My husband hates longish hair on boys and my 14 yr old son wants longish hair. I’ve never really agreed with husband about it, but can’t say that because then he feels like he’s the “bad guy.” It is bothering me right now because I went for a walk in the halls at work and noticed several men with longish hair and a few with outright LONG hair. All employed in professional positions at my company. There are no factory workers or low skilled people in my building – so I KNOW they are in a professional job category.
- I saw the tracfone in my drawer while looking for my headphones to go on my walk. The phone he used to communicate with his affair partners a couple of years ago. I was thinking of giving it back to him in case he needs it once our divorce is final.
Normally I would avoid writing a blog entry in this sort of mood. But if I do that, it might be a few weeks before I really feel energized for it again. So, here ya go – my emotional dumping!!!