I’ve been thinking about this concept a lot lately – “work it out.” No one wants to give up. No one wants to fail.
How does that relate to special relationships, like marriage?
Here’s some of my thoughts on how that affects love relationships:
- We stay in broken relationships too long because we think we can fix things.
- We stay miserable because we believe we can just try harder to be more compatible with our mate.
- We stay stressed and tense because we’re trying to be something that we’re not, so that we can “work it out” with our mate.
- If we’re not miserable, we know that we are not really “well” because we’re not exactly true to ourselves, in the name of “working it out.”
Popular belief tells us that we can work it out. The married couple who made it through some difficult times only to be so much better than before tell us that we can. Our parents who remained married, even though they don’t get along, tell us that we can. Our spouses who don’t want us to leave (this was me) tell us that we can.
I don’t know anymore. I think that it is great if couples CAN work it out, and maybe some give up too easily. But I know that I did everything I possibly could to work it out. Now I’m feeling relieved that I no longer need to work on something that is causing me some deep down stress and anxiety.