Jake’s Take on Eilene: Cat Says Meow

In response to Daily Prompt: The Cat Says Meow.

My name is Jake.  I am a boy cat.

Ooooo, there’s that brilliant yet stupid human girl again.  She’s just such a confusing mess.  Definitely confusing.  She’s a bit cat-like, but yet so un-cat-like.  Can’t she get it straight?

She’s so smart in some ways – like a cat.  She knows how to open doors and cabinets.  I sure wish I could do it as well as she can.  I can close doors pretty good.  I even know that the gold knob is what she uses to open the doors.

She knows lots of other stuff too.  She knows how to flush the toilet.  Oh how I wish I knew how to do that.  I love to see the water swirl around and go down.

But yet she’s stupid about it too.  She doesn’t eagerly watch the water swirl it’s way down after she flushes.  She just gets up and walks away.  What a waste of effort.

The most important thing she knows, is how to open the cat food canister.  I’ve REALLY been studying that and just can’t figure it out.  I’ve knocked it over, even though I know she doesn’t do it that way.  One time I knocked it over and got a reward.  But the dang lid wasn’t on it then.  And now she reminds the human kids to put the lid back on so I don’t pig out.

Again – she’s also stupid about this.  She opens it and gives me and my friends food – but doesn’t take some for herself.  What kind of stupid is that?

She seems clean, but I have NO clue how she gets clean.  She never licks herself clean.  I suspect it has something to do with the water sprinkles she stands under in the morning.

She likes to touch me.  I really don’t like to be touched.  She should go to Sophie or Angel for that.  They’re girl cats and just don’t know better.  And I REALLY hate it when she picks me up.

Damn – I could go on and on about her.  But enough is enough.  I see that Sophie needs to be put in her place.

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