In response to Daily Prompt: A Friend in Need
Finish this sentence: “My closest friend is…”
friend /frend/ Noun:A person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations.
With that definition I have no friends because of my two closest people, one is a relative (my mom) and the other I am sexual with (my husband). I have no close friends and this is something that I hope to work on someday soon. But right now I have other priorities.
My mom has always been there for me. She is easy to talk to. She does not judge my mistakes. If I tell her about my worries about my husband, she sympathizes but does not hold a grudge against him. She knows that relationship troubles stem from both of us, not just my husband. She never tries to solve my problems for me, just offers a sounding board and provides opinions for me to take or leave. She never butts into our business and never tries to take control. I feel like she loves me in spite of my problems.
My husband became my best friend before we were married. We did everything together. Before having kids, we were more like BFFs with benefits than we were like a couple. That was good, but it was also bad. The pressures of kid rearing is challenging to any relationship. Add in the fact that we have a special needs kid (Asperger’s) and that we never mastered the couple communication skills regarding serious relationship issues – and you have two people growing apart.
We have put a stop to that thankfully. I catch more and more glimpses of that old friendship we had, but it never will be the same – it will be BETTER. We are building new habits. We are learning to discuss our feelings instead of ignoring them. We are focusing on doing more fun things together. We are learning to rely on each other during the tough times and during the boring daily routine.